Blind Anger
by Cugami
Summary: Gundam Wing. 1x4/4x1. Heero intercepted Quatre's mission because he knew the blonde wouldn't be able to complete it. The price to pay for a failed mission was execution. Why did Heero do that? What was the mission?
1. Default Chapter

Blind Anger by Michiru Cugami Blind Anger 

Quatre felt something close to dread in his heart and he didn't know why. So he ignored it, but he already had a nagging feeling behind his stubborn head that something's going to happen. He just couldn't get it. **Damnit...what?!** It was there, somewhere inside his subconscious but he just couldn't reach it. 

Slowly, he rose from his seat and closed the book that he was reading. He snook a peek in the kitchen and saw that Duo was eating a hearty snack while the others ate in a slower pace. He smiled a little. In the middle of this cursed war, they didn't have a choice but to keep running, hiding and fighting. So, any luxury that he could give the other pilots, he would gladly give just so that they could at least pretend even for just a little while, that the war didn't affect them. 

He then went to his room passing by Heero's room, then he stopped in his tracks. He touched the knob of the door, but then stopped again. Why was he doing that? What was he going to do? He knew that Heero was currently out for a mission so why was he standing outside the Wing pilot's door. 

He turned the knob and went in. It looked like any ordinary room in the house, so why was he inside someone else's room. He couldn't shake the feeling away that he was supposed to be doing something. But he didn't know what. Heero's laptop was placed on the table, closed. Of course, what would he expect. 

He looked around and nothing was amiss. So, what was he doing inside the room? He was ready to bang his head over and over just to make his mind work, but he wouldn't do that. The hit would hurt too much, and besides, what good could he do if he got injured. Injured because he banged his head on the wall. He made a frustrated sound. He was even sounding ridiculous. He had to know what's making him like this or else he'll go insane. It never felt nice to feel that you were supposed to know something yet couldn't. He sat in front of the laptop and logged in. 

Enter Password. 

He raised his eyebrows. Looks like he would have to do it the hard way...... What was he doing? He didn't know the password, and he was sure that Heero had top security locks when it came to his laptop. And yet, his hands danced around the keyboard and typed numerous codes to hack into Heero's laptop. He knew it was a futile attempt, so why was he even trying?  
The whole thing might even self-destruct if he placed the wrong passwords. And still, he continued until finally everything became mechanical. He didn't think anymore, just let his hands and eyes do the work. 

System Lock 1 

unlocked 

System Lock 2 

unlocked 

His fingers continued to dance along the keys as one by one the system locks for the code was unlocked and the password was finally confirmed. He also knew that by this time the mission objectives were thoroughly erased, but maybe not yet from the back up files. And so he searched again, and found nothing. 

He leaned back on the chair, wondering again why he was inside the room. And what was he searching in Heero's laptop. Then he sat up straight again and continued typing. He may not find the objectives, but he'd surely find the background for the current mission. 

His eyes narrowed when the infos started showing up one by one. It was familiar, very very familiar. Why? Because he had received the same data 2 days ago and his superior had said that he would give Quatre the next batch of info along with the mission objective. And the data that he was seeing now, was the complete one, and marked by Dr. S. 

Not J. 

All the information for total annihilation was designed for Sandrock's ability. 

Not Wing. 

One thing was very clear. 

Heero had intercepted Quatre's mission. 

Quatre logged out of Heero's laptop with a frown. He sat there silently in his chair as he took everything in. And his conclusion was, he didn't understand the reason why Heero would take a mission from him. It wasn't a hard mission....well, it was hard since it's a whole base and he had to destroy it from inside out, not outside in. He may not be as good as Trowa and Heero for infiltrating but he could do that damn well. He shook his head, he was even cursing already. 

He once again gathered his thoughts. He thought of any possible reason on why the Wing pilot would intercept missions, didn't he know that a mission would come to him anytime? He stood up and walked towards the door. He listened hard if anyone was outside and when he heard nothing but silence, he slowly came out of the room and walked towards his own silently. 

**Was he trying to protect me? If yes, from what then? If yes, why would he do that?** He knew that as a leader, Heero cared for his team, but he would never get a mission from them. As for something deeper, he didn't want to think about that one. 

He closed the door inside his room and contemplated on what to do. So, now he knew the nagging feeling that something was wrong. Someone took his mission. But what can he do about it? Should he just wait and ask? That's definitely out of the question. As if Heero would answer him in the first place. Instead, the question might be thrown back at him of how he knew,  
then he would say he found out through Heero's laptop. And after saying that, he should probably say his last prayers. 

What to do? What to do? He repeated over and over in his head. And still nothing was clear, though there was one answer but he was trying to ignore that particular one. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Heero just finished wiring the computer to give him access to the core of the building. The place was huge compared to the detailed map that he received earlier. It took him hours to get inside the territory, and hours to find the core, and another hour to wire everything. He now faced another part of the building that should be the core. And he immediately sprang into action and found the mainframe computer. He hacked and programmed a silent bomb that'd explode inside the hard drive and destroy all data. 

The programming wasn't hard, the hard part was timing his escape. He never did it before, but now he cared for life. Because someone had taught him about it. His teacher never taught him directly though, he just watched him. Watched him care for everyone, value their lives as if they were of his own. And if someone was hurt, it was like he was trying to take all the pain from  
them, and in a way he was succeeding, and he was hurting instead of them. All because he cared so much. And because of that, he would have to die. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Quatre came out of his room and told his friends that he would just visit Sandrock. Duo made a comment that he was turning as bad as Wufei and his Nataku, and the braided boy got a long rant about caring for Gundams and valuing their worth and how dare he insult the Chinese boy for valuing his beloved Gundam. Quatre just smiled at them and told them that he would be back. 

He climbed inside Sandrock's cockpit and found something else to do than just sit inside his room. He still didn't know what to do though. He checked for missions, force of habit and found nothing. Then he checked the systems for Sandrock if they were all in good condition. 

They were. 

Then one caught his eye. 

He touched the keys softly, then slowly typed Z E R... 

He stopped himself from doing it and frowned. He remembered what he did in Zero mode, it was never a pleasant memory. And after all of those, Heero trusted him the program. It belonged to Wing Zero, and yet it's pilot gave ZERO system to Sandrock's. Because Heero trusted him. And he was grateful for that trust, and he valued that trust. And yet, he hacked into someone else's files, the one who gave him his trust. He was traveling into guilt road again, but he couldn't help it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Heero computed the amount of time he would be needing to escape, and then made the code for it to detonate at exactly 7 minutes. He was done planting all bombs throughout the compound, and it would all go off once the silent bomb did it's work. And by that time, he should be a good distance away, with his Wing Zero and flying back to his friends. Friends....he never had  
friends. He never called them that, and yet he learned. And once again from him. Friendship, trust...and what he did wasn't the one of trust. 

He stopped his mind from wandering off and finished what he was doing. Then he stood up and ran to where he came in. He has 7 minutes to find his way back out of the compound. When he opened the door from the core, he ran as fast as he could. Before he rounded the corner, a woman came out. He automatically pointed his revolver, and he was faced with the same. 

They pointed revolver to revolver, neither moved, neither talked. Then the woman smiled, and Heero backed away. Cerulean blue eyes, blonde hair flowing behind her back, smooth skin, the kind smile of an angel......she reminded him of Quatre. Yes, she was older, and feminine, but the resemblance was remarkable. Too remarkable to be a coincidence. 

The woman snapped her fingers and 4 men emerged from the corner and entered the building's core. No doubt removing the silent bomb. Heero glared hard at her, and she kept smiling kindly at him. Revolver still pointed at his head, and the other pointed at her heart. Why couldn't he just shoot her? 

She then opened the shoulder bag that she was carrying, and she dropped all it's contents on the floor. All the bombs that he planted. And yet, she still smiled, and it unnerved him. He wanted to shoot her and leave, but couldn't. 

He knew why. 

Because she was one of Quatre's sisters. 

One of the many reasons why he took this mission. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` 

Quatre still sat on his Gundam, now silent in reverie. Then he made his decision. He climbed back down again and went back inside with the others. He told them that he was leaving for a mission. They only nodded in understanding, and Duo gave him the good luck speech then he smiled and left.   
  
Mission Objective: Find Heero.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` 

"Shoot, little boy." The woman dared him in a soft kind tone. 

He hated her. How could she remain looking like an angel, speaking like an angel yet everything underneath her was nothing but the opposite. 

He wanted to pull the trigger and be done with it. 

She lowered her gun and grinned at him, then shot his leg. 

He remained standing though the wound made him wince. But he stood firm, gun still pointed at her but couldn't shoot. 

She shot his other leg, and this time he fell, and his gun also dropped to the floor. He couldn't shoot her. 

She then kneeled in front of him and held his chin like a sister, "I knew you can't shoot me. You know why?" 

He glared harder, willing her to die with his eyes. But she still didn't waver, she even looked amused. The nerve of this woman.... 

"Because I am connected to him. If I die, he would know. And if he would find out who did it...and after he did, you already know what happened the last time, ne?" She said in a whisper like an angel soothing a sinner, but her words were more than enough to give him more reason to kill her. But it was the truth, he couldn't. 

"Take him away, I'll deal with him personally." She smiled to the 4 men. 

His mission failed. There was one question that he wanted to be answered though, "Why?" 

"Oh..you can speak?" She still smiled like some kind gentle older sister, but the mockery of her words was there. "Well, I guess I can answer that. Because I want all of this to end, the war. And for that to happen, all those who started it must die. You, my brother, the others, OZ, and including myself. I work for no one but myself." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Quatre hid his Sandrock not far from the place where the mission was currently taking place. He entered with stealth, and found his way in. It looked like Heero was finished already, but the place was still in one piece. So that meant, that the other was still here. He felt stupid for following, he might be endangering them both by being there alone. But, it was his mission after all, and two were always better than one. 

He was about to turn left to where he knew the core should be and Heero might be, but he turned right. He never betrayed his instincts, and so he continued on. He reached an opening and found a forest beyond that point. He was confused. Why did his instincts guided him at that place? 

Then he heard a motor roar, and he hid behind the pillar. He saw some men on the jeep, a blonde woman, and Heero. One thing registered in his mind then. Heero got caught. 

He hurriedly rode the other jeep that was parked and hot wired it then he followed them from a good distance. Letting his ear guide him this time rather than his eyes. 

He slowly pulled out of the road and followed the other jeep from behind the large trees. He stopped when he no longer heard the motor of the other jeep. And he stepped out of the jeep silently. He took some supplies from the cargo and climbed back up to the road to follow by foot. 

When he reached the place, they were on a boat. He was genuinely confused on where they were going. The lake was connected to the sea, and if they were going to a nearby island, that little boat won't get them any further. He was shocked when the boat stopped in the middle of the lake and the blonde pushed Heero over, chains and rocks bound his hands and feet. They waited for a while and then rode back to land. Quatre's eyes were huge and glazed. He could watch them die in gunshots, but never like that. He always knew that they'd die in battle eventually, but not helpless like the way Heero did. Not by being pushed over the boat. 

He hurriedly hid and found his way towards the lake without being seen. When he looked back, he saw they were all inside the jeep and was about to gun the engine. He aimed his gun at the tire, and it exploded, next he aimed at the gas tank. The gas leaked out, and finally, he aimed for the gas. The whole jeep exploded with everyone in it scorched and burned. 

C&Cs!!!!  
please...it's been a long time since I wrote yaoi again...and Nanainan (yaoi muse) just started to live again. ^^  
  



	2. Blind Anger

Blind Anger by Michiru Cugami

Blind Anger 2  


Quatre no longer watched the flames as the jeep exploded. He felt something in his heart, but he had no time for guilt, he had to save someone. 

Heero. 

After he had fired the killing bullet, he jumped to the boat and rode it to where he remembered they dropped Heero's body. When he reached the spot, hopefully it was the right one. He wished that Heero held on. He knew that as pilots they could last longer under water than necessary because of their training. But Heero was their best pilot, so he should last longer than any of them. 

Before he reached the spot, he had removed his vest, shirt and shoes. And when he was finally there, he stopped the motor of the boat and dived, swimming as fast as he could, looking for Heero. And the strange thing was, he was calm. 

When he found Heero, he almost breathed a sigh of relief but stopped himself when he remembered that he was under water. Heero was still chained to the big rocks that kept him from swimming or floating away. He swam over the Wing pilot and shook him to see if he was still alive. He couldn't panic, not now, no time for those little emotions. He had to save Heero. 

Heero didn't move. And Quatre shook harder. 

Quatre slapped Heero's face, and the eyes slowly opened. Quatre smiled, even under water, and signalled him that he would be right back. Heero was loosing air, and Quatre saw it. He didn't need to think anymore. He pressed his lips to Heero's and gave him enough air until he comes back again. 

Heero thought that he would die finally, but something kept him to hold on for life. Then someone slapped him to wakefulness and saw the one person he didn't expect to see again. Then he was shocked when the blonde pressed his lips to him. When Quatre pulled away, he nodded to the other pilot and swam up to the surface again. Heero just watched him, wondering how he had gotten in there. 

Quatre swam towards the boat and reached for his vest. He searched for something and finally smiled in triumph when he found it. They all had lock picks in their clothes, while Duo hid his in his hair. Anyway, after getting enough air again, he dived back down to Heero. When he was under water again, Quatre held his hand and started working on the lock. Duo was their best bet in lockpicking and he wished that he was here. But there was no time for that either. He continued to work. Heero held his hand suddenly and he looked at the other boy. The other boy shook his head as if asking him to go and leave him. 

Quatre removed his hand away from Heero's grasp, suddenly angry but continued working anyway. When he felt that he was about to lose air again, he pressed his lips to Heero's and gave the other boy his air once again as he swam to the surface to breathe in more air. 

He dived down again, and pressed his lips to Heero's to give him more air. Then he proceeded to work again. He got 2 locks done, 2 more to go and Heero's free. He removed the one chain off his wrist, and one on his foot. He proceeded to remove the other one on his foot when he saw red on the water. He looked up at Heero and saw that the other boy removed the chain  
from his other hand the painful way. He picked the final lock and the chain was gone. 

He held Heero and swam both of them on the surface. The other boy may look alive, but he knew that the other one was as good as dead. He pushed Heero on the boat and pulled himself up next. They both gasped for air. After a little while, Heero just stared at Quatre and then fell like a rag doll. 

Quatre caught Heero and covered him with his dry shirt and vest. Then he motored the boat again and went back on dry ground. He was cold, and shivering, but Heero needed the warmth than him. When they were on dry ground, he half dragged, half carried Heero to a clearing but still secluded from the main road. He took a glimpse on the scorched jeep but ignored it. 

He felt like a monster. He killed them with his hands. Literally, this time. He had killed, yes, but with the Gundam, not like the way he just did. And the worst part was, he never felt an ounce of guilt. Not even sadness to their deaths. He had become a real monster. 

He was no longer Quatre. 

He created a bonfire. He knew that a fire was dangerous, especially when you're hiding, but Heero needed the warmth. He would just sleep lightly just in case someone would come and attack them.   
  
He arranged Heero comfortably, he was still wearing Quatre's shirt and vest to give him at least additional warmth. Quatre contemplated on running back to his abandoned jeep and find some blanket. And that idea had won out. So he ran as fast as he could to that bush again, and rummaged the cargo, found two blankets, first aid kit but no food. He could live without food. And he ran back to where he left Heero. 

Heero lay there, unmoved. He removed the other's wet clothes and covered him with his dry shirt and vest again, and then covered him with one blanket. He was going to use the other one, since he too was feeling colder as the temperature drops with the sun. 

Quatre tended Heero's wound on the wrist silently. It was deep. Try pulling your hand out of a chain...he shuddered again when he remembered that scene. He looked at Heero and covered him again with the blanket. It was a good thing that he didn't develop a fever, just too tired and cold. He wondered if Heero was human. Duo always kid around about that little thing, was Heero human? But when he looked at the other boy now, sleeping peacefully. He believed that he was as human as they were. More human than him. Heero was honest to himself, true to his own feelings. He was innocent, yes, he was. He was just forced to kill, forced in this kind of life. And as for Quatre, it was his decision to fight this war. He had everything he needed, a pacifist family, and yet he fought this war. He hid behind the mask of an angel. Maybe he was an angel, before. But now, he didn't even blinked when he killed. He no longer had the conscience that he once used to have. 

He still didn't know why Heero took his mission though. And he would ask first thing when the other boy woke up. He remained awake until he could, gun on his lap and watched Heero sleep. The wind blew and he shivered, he was still bare chested and he moved to take the unused blanket to cover himself but stopped. He covered Heero with the second blanket instead. He leaned on the tree and watched Heero again as he slept near the fire. Then he too fell asleep with nothing in his head but to keep Heero alive. He may no longer have a chance at life, but he would let the other boy live his life. Heero was just learning to live, while he was tired of it. There was no reason anymore. He had become a monster who took pleasure in killing. 

Heero woke up and the first thing he saw was the fire. And he was covered with a blanket, his wound well tended, and he was wearing Quatre's shirt and vest. And most of all, he was alive. He thought that it was a dream that Quatre came to save him. But he really did. 

He looked around for Quatre and didn't find him. Then he adjusted his sight to the darkness and saw a glimpse of blonde hair. He silently walked towards the figure leaning on a tree. But before he even reached a good distance from the boy who saved his life, cerulean eyes blinked awake, and gun zeroed on his head. But he didn't blink, he was a little surprised at Quatre's reflexes though. 

Then he sat beside Quatre when the blonde dropped the gun and apologized. 

"Here...." Heero gave Quatre the other blanket. 

"Arigatou...." Quatre reluctantly took the blanket and covered himself. Sleeping in the cold night air, bare chested was not some sane man would do, especially when he just got out of water. 

Heero looked hard on Quatre. Something was wrong. 

"About the mission...." Quatre started to say. 

Heero closed his eyes and leaned on the tree. He should've known that he would find out eventually. He wouldn't bother asking how, as he already had an idea and he didn't like it one bit. "Hai..." 

"You took it. Why?" Quatre's voice was strained, either from fatigue or something else. 

"I had to." 

Cerulean met cobalt blue. The other waited for the other to continue, but neither spoke for quite some time. Then cobalt blue eyes closed and slowly opened to focus at the fire instead. "What happened to those who tried to kill me?" 

Quatre looked at the fire too. Then he said softly, "I killed them." 

The fire cracked and emulated a red glow on their faces as they focused on it silently. Heero remained silent for a while, pondering whether he should tell Quatre that he just killed his own sister. "You saved my life." He was never good with words but he would try to evade the question as much as possible, "Arigatou." 

"I had to." Quatre said simply. "I won't let you die." 

They remained silent again. And Quatre once again, asked the question, "Why?" He didn't need to elaborate. It was obvious that the other pilot was trying to change the subject. 

Heero didn't reply, but eventually said, "It's a long story." 

"I have to know, Heero. Please." Quatre looked down and toyed with his revolver with downcast eyes. He just wanted to know why. 

Heero looked at Quatre's form and then to the gun. He slowly reached out for the gun and released it in Quatre's hold. Quatre looked at him, and Heero replied, "I'll tell you........but..." 

Quatre just nodded. "Just tell me....then I won't ask for another." 

Heero didn't know where to start. He was never the one to talk but he had to tell Quatre, somehow. He gave his word. Besides, he deserved to know.....even if it might hurt. "It might hurt..." 

"I can no longer feel pain. You don't have to worry about that." Quatre said coldly as he once again stared at the crackling fire. 

A frown crossed Heero's face as he stared at Quatre. He didn't know why Quatre said what he said. "Very well....I might as well start in the beginning." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Quatre landed his Sandrock in the hangar and went inside the house looking tired. He still managed to smile at the others, tiredly. He then went to his room to report the success of his current mission. Heero was currently typing in his room, doing some reports himself. They had been very busy lately, everyone always had a mission or two to attend to each time. Though  
most of their missions were pretty easy compared to the others they had been through. 

Heero heard the soft footsteps outside his open door. He turned his head to see who was coming, and saw Quatre walk past his door, shoulders slumped. He frowned. True, everyone were almost always in missions, but Quatre had been the one who had been receiving the most and hardest missions. He even got another mission as soon as he got back the last time. He just typed his report then, and left for his next mission that very same day. 

Heero started to see a pattern on the way their superiors gave missions. Normally, when a hard mission was handed out to be executed by a lone pilot, at least one among the pilots have a mission close to it or in stand by. But Quatre's missions were always the farthest from any of them. 

He just ignored that until he saw that Quatre was tiring himself already. He barely had a day to rest before being sent to another mission again. True, sometimes all of them didn't have any mission at the same time, but Quatre would spend that whole day asleep in his room. 

He still didn't mind it. 

Until he received a message from his superior. 

::::::::If one of the pilots refuse or fail a mission...kill him automatically.We decided to remove any uncooperative pilots but then we just settled on removing an ex-pilot permanently. He can't live since he knows too much about the Gundams.:::::::::::: 

He didn't understand it at first. Why would any of them refuse a mission? 

They were all seated at the dining room, eating their dinner. Their laptops were on the kitchen counter, just in case a mission would come in. And one of the screens blinked. Heero stood up and looked if it was his laptop, but it was Quatre's. He called Quatre, and he heard the other boy sigh as he opened the mission file. 

Heero stared at his food, though he could still see the images from Quatre's laptop through the side of his eyes. Quatre was tired, he just arrived last night and barely slept because of the reports that he had to make. When the blonde finally closed his laptop again, everyone was done eating. "Ne....I would volunteer to clean but I've got things to do. Gomen but I'll go ahead." 

Quatre bowed at all of them goodnight, then left with his laptop to his own room. Duo shook his head, "Quatre's starting to be like you, Heero......nothing important, just mission." 

Heero glared at the remark, but it was true. It seemed that if Quatre didn't smile once in a while, he would think that he had met his twin. And it was not something he'd want to happen. Ever. 

Everyone was sleeping already, Heero was sure of that as he laid awake in his own bed, in his own room. Then he sat up and faced the laptop. He logged on and typed some passwords and codes, and then proceeded to hack. 

He hacked Quatre's laptop so he would have access from his own laptop to the files of Quatre. He searched for the newest file, which was the mission file sent earlier during dinner. 

He read the file. It wasn't hard, not that hard. Same old thing, infiltrate, then annihilate. Though this one was different, inside-out, instead of outside-in. There were still missing data, and the scientist said that he would send it out the next few days. 

Then suddenly, the screen blinked and a new message was sent to Quatre's. It was another mission and it was to be executed the first thing in the morning. 

Heero scowled. Quatre just got back a while ago, and then there it was again. Even he, himself didn't received didn't receive missions in close successions. What were they trying to do? Tire Quatre out? 

Something snapped when those thoughts came to him. There was something going on here, but there weren't enough clues for him to understand just yet. But it was there. He would just have to find out. 

When they woke up the next day, Quatre wasn't with them for breakfast. But there was a note saying that he left for mission and would be back at the end of the day or tomorrow morning. Duo shook his head and muttered that Quatre needed to rest. Trowa nodded silently, though there was worry in his features already. Even Wufei was worried with the way Quatre's missions came in like flowing water. 

When Quatre came back the next morning, he looked like he was about to give up. He didn't talk to anyone, or smiled at all. He just muttered that he won't be eating with them for a while and then went straight to his room. In a little while, they heard the tapping of the laptop keys. Trowa shook his head, Duo sat silently and very worried, Wufei's brows furrowed but remained  
silent as well. Heero walked out from his room and watched Quatre's half-opened door from his position. Then he closed the door and typed something in his laptop with a determined expression on his face. Quatre would rest the next few days. 

Night came and Heero was sleeping when he heard the beep of a new message. He read the message and downloaded the files. He read each of the files carefully and silently. Then he gritted his teeth. 

He now understood the message sent to him by his superior to kill anyone who would refuse any mission. He was sure that Quatre would refuse this next mission, or even if he did accept, he would surely fail one way or another. He glared at the mission objective:: 

name of target:: Shrephileon base  
head:: Kylie W(inner) Shrephileon  
objective:: infiltration ; destroy core from inside-out ; total annihilation, make sure no one survives ; make sure of the death of the head and report back immediately 

There was a picture attached, and the rest of the files. Everything was hard from the very start but it wouldn't have been much of a problem if Quatre was well-rested. But besides that fact, there was another problem. 

Kylie Winner Shrephileon 

Heero did a search string on that name to know who that person was, and if she had any connection to the Winner household. And his instincts were correct. Quatre would definitely deny this mission, if not....at least fail to kill....his own sister. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~end of flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Heero was silent after he said everything. He never spoke that long in his whole life, but Quatre deserved to know everything. He looked at the blonde boy, and slightly worried since he wasn't expecting the reaction that he was getting. He didn't know what Quatre's reaction would be but he definitely didn't expect Quatre to laugh. 

Quatre laughed bitterly, "So....they wanted me out of the team." 

Heero stared, silent and then started to say something, "Quatre...." 

"They wanted me to die on the battlefield, that's why they kept sending me hard missions and in close successions. But they couldn't. I survived all those. So they made sure that I either fail the next one or refuse it." Quatre said darkly. 

"We're not sure if that was what they were planning," Heero said calmly, though he knew that the blonde was right. But the way Quatre was acting, started to make him worry for the blonde. Now, he was really unsure on what Quatre's about to do. 

"Well....they got what they wanted. The head of the Shrephileon base is dead. I killed her, and made sure that she didn't survive. No one could survive being burnt alive in an exploding jeep. It's just the base now that needed to be annihilated, then everything should be over." Quatre continued on coldly. 

Heero shuddered inside. Quatre said that he killed his sister with utter coldness. He was about to say something when Quatre spoke all of a sudden. 

"Rest, Heero. You need it. Don't worry, the mission would be over soon. Your bombs were still there, I presume. Though it might not be scattered to the right places. Give me the codes." Quatre ordered as he got his own detonator from his pocket. Each pilots had one, and it was a general detonator. All it needed was the password for the bombs planted, and then press the button, boom. Ninmu Kanryou. 

Heero was hesitant to give Quatre the code. True, a mission was a mission, and the head was dead already. But Quatre really worried him. 

"Code, Heero." Quatre said pointedly. 

Heero just nodded and gave the codes. Quatre programmed everything on the detonator, and then pushed the button just as quickly. No hesitations, no questions, just pushed it. And there was a loud explosion heard somewhere. Quatre smirked, "Ninmu Kanryou." 

Heero fell silent all of a sudden. He was seeing himself in Quatre. 

And he never wanted to see any of his personalities in one of his friends, especially Quatre. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
end part 2


	3. Blind Anger

Blind Anger by Michiru Cugami **Notes/Warnings** 

I don't think I have any warnings for this.....but...well..I'm not sure if they were OOC or IC...you be the judge of that one...^^ So...what else?..hmm...yaoi.*grin* 

disclaimers apply......^^  


Blind Anger 3  


Quatre looked hard on the crackling fire. He didn't talk, he didn't move, he just sat there silently. Heero, knowing nothing else to do, just sat and watch Quatre's form as the glow of the flame danced around in his features. 

Quatre then closed his eyes and inhaled deep and sighed as he leaned back on the tree. Heero was then caught off-guard when the blonde Arab suddenly faced him and smiled. Not the smile that made him stop a while ago, but the smile that said that everything would be alright. "Go sleep, Heero. I'll stay up and watch for the night." Quatre said softly, still smiling kindly at Heero. 

Heero was confused. He knew that Quatre was angry, real angry a while ago, but then Quatre was smiling at him now. He wondered how Quatre could change mood that fast. He looked hard on Quatre to find anything strange, but there wasn't. Quatre was Quatre. He didn't feel like sleeping at all. "You go ahead. It's my turn to stay on the lookout." 

Quatre just shook his head, "You need to rest. I wasn't the one who nearly died. And I wasn't the one who got shot twice. I think your clothes should be dry by now." 

Heero didn't say a word, but remained where he was. 

"Heero...." Quatre started with a sigh. 

"You have to rest." Heero said flatly. 

"Aa...I'll rest." Quatre smiled, "You just go sleep near the fire. You need the warmth, and take the blankets with you." 

"I am not sick. Use the other blanket." Heero stood up and walked towards the fire. He changed clothes and then lied down. 

Quatre watched Heero sleep. The other boy was alive, though wounded and must be very tired. Quatre smiled faintly, but remained silent. He closed his eyes and rested his head on the tree trunk. It was now time alone for him to think. He could never think when someone was watching him. Looking back to what he did earlier, he killed his own sister. So, that explained the  
feeling he got after the whole jeep exploded. But the sad thing was, he never felt sorry, even now. He really was a monster. He looked up at the stars and smiled to himself. His mother was there first, then his father followed, and now his sister was there as well. He looked at his hands, and curved three fingers then pointed his index finger to his heart, then he said softly, "Bang." 

Heero watched Quatre, his eyes half closed. Quatre just sat there and looking up, and then he made a gesture with his hand, and pointed it at his heart. He said something, but the supposed to be sleeping boy didn't hear. It was hard to look from half closed eyes, but something made him watch. He couldn't sleep. He could pretend, though. 

Quatre smiled darkly after saying 'bang'. **Oh..well...I should rest...that's what they wanted anyway....** He took the gun and looked at how many bullets it had. Then he opened his mouth slowly, and pushed the gun inside, as he closed his eyes. 

Heero sat up immediately when Quatre inserted the gun inside his mouth. He ran, wincing from the pain in his thigh, but he ran towards Quatre. He pulled the gun away from Quatre's grasp and punched the other boy. 

Quatre narrowed his eyes when Heero punched him, and so he kneed the Japanese boy in the gut. He tried to get the gun again but Heero pushed him hard on the ground, yet the blonde Arab remained standing. 

"What is wrong with you?" Heero growled. 

"Give me the gun." Quatre stood tall and walked slowly towards Heero. 

Heero narrowed his eyes and raised the gun at Quatre. 

"Be done with it. It's your mission." Quatre said coldly. 

Heero fired the gun. 

Quatre didn't blink when all 5 bullets whisked by him, inches away from his face. 

Heero then threw the gun at Quatre, which was caught. Then Quatre threw it away and looked darkly at Heero, "Are you mocking me?" 

"You asked for the gun. I gave it to you." Heero replied. 

Quatre narrowed his eye further and clenched his fists. Then he stalked off towards the fire where his shirt and vest was. He wore it, and didn't bother to button it.He just left the clearing. 

Heero held Quatre's arm before the blonde one could leave the clearing. "Quatre..." 

Quatre's face was turning black and blue to the place where Heero punched him. "Let go." 

Heero wasn't looking at Quatre but he just tightened his hold on the other's arm. Quatre pulled his arm away from Heero but the Japanese boy didn't let go. He looked at Quatre in the eye and said, "You saved me....I won't let you die." 

Quatre remained silent. 

"I won't let you die." Heero repeated, "That was why I took your mission in the first place." He then looked at Quatre who didn't look back. 

Quatre was visibly shaking, and when Heero held his shoulders, Quatre lashed out and pushed the other boy away from him. "Leave me alone! Just like the way everyone did! I don't need people like you and no one needs me. No one would look for me if I left. It's what you all wanted, ne? The scientists, everybody." No one needed him. So he would give what they wanted, he would just leave and let someone else take over. Quatre started to run to the middle of the forest. 

"Damn." Heero followed Quatre in a dead run. His thighs were killing him. The wounds haven't completely healed yet but he had to reach Quatre. The war messed Quatre up, the people he tried to protect killed his father, and now he also killed his sister. The war would have to stop. **Damn war for what they did to Quatre.** 

Quatre ran, but didn't know where he was going. He just had to run. He felt that he had been running all his life and he should face the problem now. He tried to face it, and when he did, they wanted him dead. **Let them have what they want! Then all of this would be over.** He ran faster until he saw the cliff. He doubled his speed and went straight for the cliff. 

"Quatre!!" Heero saw the cliff and ran faster. **Quatre can't die** Quatre gave him life, Quatre taught him to value life, what would he do without Quatre? So, Quatre could not possibly die. **He will not die if I can help it!** 

Quatre wasn't listening. Actually, death felt so inviting. He would be with his father, mother, and even the sister that he killed. He would be away from the war. No wonder Heero felt like dying most of the time. Now he understood why Heero so wanted to die. He just ran and prepared to jump straight to the cliff. He leaped in the air and closed his eyes as he allowed himself to fall into darkness. 

"QUATRE!!" Heero saw Quatre leap in the air and start to fall down the cliff. He also jumped and reached for Quatre. He held on to him as they fell. Heero used his good arm to hold on to anything, rock, branch, anything to break their fall. 

When Heero managed to pull both of them up again the cliff, Quatre stirred. When Quatre sat up, Heero hissed and growled. He raised his fist in the air and prepared to hit some sense in Quatre's head, but the blonde didn't flinch. "A life for a life. Your debt is paid, you can leave now Heero. Let me be." 

Heero slammed his fist hard on the ground. He was breathing hard. Couldn't Quatre understand that he needed him? 

Quatre stood up and walked towards the cliff again and Heero immediately followed and stopped Quatre. 

Quatre shook his head and said, "I will not jump. Not today." He then looked down on the cliff where he was supposed to be if it weren't for Heero, "Maybe next time when you're nowhere near." He looked at the other boy and found him staring to a very scared child. He blinked in surprise at the look of fear, anger and relief in Heero's eyes. He always thought that those cobalt blue orbs would always look cold and uncaring, but if anyone looked closer, they'd see it. 

Heero's heart. 

Heero couldn't believe it. Quatre tried to kill himself, not once but twice. And those two tries were too close. If he didn't choose to stay awake at that time what would've happened? If he didn't jump the cliff and followed Quatre what would've happened? If Quatre died, he would lose his friend, a friend that meant a lot to him. **More than life itself.** His heart was still beating too fast from the gun incident, the run and the cliff and also from something else. His heart ached for some reason, too many emotions flooding him and he couldn't handle it. It was strangling him, but how to let it go? He couldn't understand. 

Quatre touched Heero's shoulders and shook him a little, "Heero?" The other didn't move for quite some time now, just stare at him. "Heero? Are you okay?" 

Heero blinked at Quatre's soft shaking. He looked at Quatre and replied, "Then I'd always be near." He then pulled Quatre close to him in an embrace. Quatre was shocked to say the least. **Then I'd always be....near?** And he was pulled in an embrace, by Heero? Who wouldn't be surprised. "Heero...wha...." 

"You'll never jump...." Heero tightened his embrace to Quatre, "..because I'll always be near to stop you and carry you back up if you choose to fall." 

Quatre understood, and he smiled serenely. He buried himself deeper in the embrace and nuzzled his nose in Heero's neck. He embraced Heero and whispered in his ear, "Arigatou...for being here....arigatou.....for caring....arigatou...." 

Heero looked at Quatre, and for the rarest opportunity, allowed himself to smile at Quatre. "Hai....I'll always be near." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`  
Owari (?)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` 

*nod* Owari! *grin*...anyway...we never know what happened next...it's up to you to think. 

Arigatou for reading!!!! I hope you liked this one...*crosses fingers* C&Cs are very very welcome....what do you think about the ending? Is it...too...mushy? 


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